Unrequited Love

Photo by Mauro Shared Pictures on Unsplash 

Praise be Jesus Christ, now and forever!  Praise be His most holy and majestic name.  Praise Him who was, who is, and who is to come.  Praise Him in ALL things! 

Thank You, God for all thy benefits.  Thank You for all that You do.  Thank You for all that You provide.  Thank You for knocking us off our high horses, and for always giving us a way to hop on again.  Thank You for going before us and preparing the paths we trod.  Thank You! 

We are sorry, God, for failing to love to the best of our abilities.  We are sorry for our forgetfulness and our shortsightedness.  We are sorry for being selfish and self-centered.  We are sorry when we place ourselves in the role of God.  We are sorry for our pride and for hurting You, who are deserving of all our love.  

I have been in a strange season of beyond busy-ness.  This leaves me with less time to sit and quiet my mind to listen for His still small voice.  I was reflecting on this during a recent drive, half complaining to God, half begging Him for consolation because I missed the feeling of closeness during my quiet time.  I forget that feelings might be real, but they are not reality, yet here I was complaining to my Love that I do not feel loved when I am busy.  Then, in what seemed like an instant, the Holy Spirit showed up and reminded me - maybe reprimanded would be more accurate a word - that His is an unrequited love. 

Unrequited! Not requited; not reciprocated, not returned in kind.  When we read of unrequited love, we often read that a lover is pining and desperate for the other.  God pines for us!  God is desperate for us! He yearns for us! He just wants usto seek Him! He will never tire of being the lover who pines.  

God so loved us that He gave His only begotten Son to suffer and die for us.  How can that kind of love be reciprocated? The martyrs are the example the Church lifts for us as those who reciprocated His love.  We are not all called to this type of martyrdom, yet we are all called to some type.  Dying to self!  Here I was complaining that I cannot “feel” close to Him because my life is filled with family and friends and the responsibilities that come with those blessings.   I was complaining, but He who felt abandoned at the crucifixion, He who agonized in the garden over all who would reject Him, mock Him, sin against Him, He loves me the way I need to be loved so that I can be with Him for all eternity in perfect happiness!  He loves me in the way that I need.  He loves me despite knowing I can never really reciprocate that love.

We can never reciprocate His perfect love, for we are human, but do we do so to the best of our abilities? On that day, I was not loving Him to the best of my abilities.  I was demanding and complaining.  I had the nerve to tell the perfect lover of my soul how to love me.  Me who complains when I suffer.  Me who forgets that I am not God.  Me who falls short of loving Him – every day!  

Holy Mother Church sets precepts for us so that we have at least the chance to love Him in a more perfect super-human way than on our own.  With the help of His Word, His Church, His Sacraments, we can reciprocate His love.  There is help through books, talks, retreats, holy friendships, holy conversations.  

Consoling the Heart of Jesus  by Fr. Gaitley was a great resource for me that I revisit monthly through my reminder.  It guides readers to console the heart of Jesus in two ways: first, to trust; second, to show mercy.   This is a way to love Him!  I failed at doing these during that drive, but I will still approach Him as I am and continue to try to love Him to the best of my abilities. 

Have you ever experienced an instant reminder from the Holy Spirit?  How do you best love the best lover? Do you have some small way to reciprocate His love? Share, share, share!  You never know who needs to hear your story!